Billionaire philanthropist Melinda French Gates likes to stockpile advice for when she feels uncertain.
Whenever someone tells her something helpful, French Gates writes down their quotes so she can “replay them in my head,” she told the Wall Street Journal Magazine in a story published on Monday. One piece of wisdom from her longtime friend Warren Buffett — once given to her and ex-husband Bill Gates — has been particularly useful for her work at her philanthropic investment company Pivotal Ventures, she said.
“If I get tough on myself about philanthropy, I remember what Warren Buffett said to us originally, which is, ‘You’re working on the problems society left behind, and they left them behind for a reason. They are hard, right? So don’t be so tough on yourself,'” French Gates, 60, recalled.
Some experts endorse Buffett’s advice. While you have to persistent and realistic about your goals, dwelling on your mistakes or lack of progress is often counterproductive, Ethan Kross, an organizational psychologist at the University of Michigan, told CNBC Make It in October 2022.
An athlete in a slump is more likely to recover if they focus on how they’ll improve next time, rather than picturing their missed goal over and over again, Kross said. His recommendation: Talk to yourself like a tough coach.
“It’s not like [saying] ‘Everything’s going to be fine, you’re great, you’re unique,'” said Kross. “It can be, ‘Get your act together, Ethan. You’re not going to fail.'”
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French Gates and Gates first met Buffett in 1991. Their families regularly combined philanthropic efforts in the ensuing decades: Buffett was a Gates Foundation trustee from 2006 to 2021, and has contributed $36 billion to the foundation’s causes as of 2022, according to its website. The trio co-founded The Giving Pledge in 2010, a campaign where billionaires commit to giving away a majority of their wealth during their lifetimes.
Buffett gave French Gates and Gates another piece of advice shortly after the couple launched the Gates Foundation in 2000. “Warren Buffett once said to us … ‘Find your bullseye of what you’re working on and let the other things fall away. You’ll feel better if you keep your talents in that bullseye and keep working on those issues, and you’ll feel less bad about letting other things go,'” French Gates told LinkedIn News in an interview that published on March 4.
Both pieces of advice share a common theme: If your self-criticism prevents you from reaching your goal, try to have patience with yourself.
French Gates may need that patience to reach her longer-term goals. Pivotal Ventures is committed to spending $1 billion on global women’s rights issues by the end of 2026, according to its website. Seeing results from those projects may take years or even decades, French Gates told the Wall Street Journal Magazine.
“We can track things like maternal mortality. Does that get better over the next five years?” she said. “Then, there are long-term issues. Are we getting closer to gender equality? … A true gender societal norm is a 20-year play, so check back with me when I’m 80.”
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